We learned it in Middle School. The Periodic Table of Elements. A wide ranging, oddly assorted grouping of elements, some of which combine to form amazingly profound necessities: Two parts Hydrogen (H) and one part Oxygen = H2O, or water. Pretty important element for us. Makes up a gigantic part of our Earth. How about this one? One part Carbon, two parts Oxygen, or CO2 = Carbon Dioxide. Another biggie. Of course, this one can kill us, but thankfully trees and plants love us and convert it to O...or Oxygen, so we can live.Here's another one: one part Sodium (Na) and one part Chloride (Cl). Yup, sodium chloride, or as we know it, table salt. Yeah, not so much when compared to H2O or CO2, right?
Yeah, not so much...unless you've been living in my house lately. If so, you would know that at this point, salt is probably more important than ME. The life and times of living with a pregnant woman who wants SALT. Not just sometimes--ALL the time. It is a never ending craving.
We went to Costco last Sunday to stock up on essentials. We like their bacon. It's center cut, and comes in a 4-pack for about $8. Pretty sweet deal for center cut, right? Just got it on Sunday and we're already through two packages--in fact, she's cooking a third as I type. Not bad, until you consider that each "package" has been consumed in a SINGLE day. By my wife. She left me two pieces in the second package. Thanks, Love.
It doesn't stop there. Nope. Pickles. Dill pickles. She picked up two jars of Hamburger Dills last Friday night for Halloween dinner. I made sliders for the kids and grown up kids. Dills and sauteed onions accompanied the mini-burgers. Maybe half the jar got used that night, of which half of the half ended up in my wife's stomach. She had polished off the other half by Saturday afternoon. The second jar? Gone by Sunday night. She doesn't even put them in a bowl, or pick them out with her fingers. She sits on the couch, right next to me, fork in one hand, jar of pickles in the other. CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH.
Peanut, I hope you get her blood pressure. And if you're thirsty when you come out, I don't blame you.
I keep waiting for Vlasic to call and offer us some kind of baby deal. You know, "Name your baby 'Dill' or 'Vlasic' or something ridiculous and we'll give you free pickles for life." At this point, I wonder if Jill would consider it. Given our recent, and upcoming pickle tab, I'd have to give the offer serious merit.
So, to date: 1.5 jars Hamburger Dills, 1 jar Dill Spears and 1 big ASS jar of dill spears (from Costco, of course). Oh yeah, and two packages of bacon (a third pending). Maybe I'll get more than a few pieces of today's package...
